Later today, we’ll all no doubt be captivated by WWE’s July Pay-Per-View spectacular, Money in the Bank – live this year from our hometown of Phoenix, AZ. Since I didn’t get to join Adam and Jared on the podcast this week (I was quite literally climbing a mountain) and I’m ridiculously excited to see this show in person, I figured I’d share my own predictions here.

Pre-Show WWE Tag Team Championship Match: R-Truth / Kofi Kingston vs Primo and Epico

Por Favor!
Por Favor!

I have actually been semi-impressed in recent months by the development of Primo and Epico. Okay, so it may be partially due to the distracting gyrations of Rosa Mendes… But still, these two Puerto Ricans have had decent teamwork and have developed some semblance of a tag team personality – something that has been quite absent from the WWE in a while. Despite being completely uninteresting as a tag team, though, Truth and the Ambassador of Boom will retain. Look for AW and the Prime Time Players to show their heelish faces at the end.
Edit: I just learned that Hunico and Camacho scored the title opportunity. WTF? There is now officially nothing redeeming about this squash tag match. We’ll miss you in Phoenix, Rosa.

Participants: Dolph Ziggler, Christian, Tensai, Santino Marella, Damien Sandow, Tyson Kidd, Sin Cara, Cody Rhodes

No chance of winning: Santino, Tyson Kidd, Sin Cara
Santino is lucky to have the US title as it is. I’m really not sure why he’s in this match, as MITB isn’t exactly known for its comedic portions. Tyson Kidd, on the other hand, is sure to have a scene stealing moment or two, as he’s quite talented and sure to put his body on the line – we will give him a standing ovation, no doubt. Sin Cara is in a similar position to Kidd – he impressed me with his Friday Night Zackdown match vs ADR – let’s hope there’s no Botchamania fodder.

Dark horse contenders: Tensai, Sandow
Tensai has actually been not entirely crappy as of late, and it is his hometown, so maybe… Nah, who are we kidding? Sandow would be an interesting pick as winner, as it would be a very quick push for certain talent. In the end, though, he’s not terribly likely as he’d look a lot better with IC gold around his belt before any sort of major gold.

One more match: Christian
I guess he could win it, but how unexciting would that be?

Most likely to succeed: Dolph Ziggler
Scottsdale (I mean Bikini Bottom)’s own Dolph Ziggler is probably the favorite to win this match, as he’s most likely to have a decent run as World Heavyweight Champion in the next year. He’s here to show the world!

My pick: Cody Rhodes
In short, my logic is as such – Dolph is most likely to win a major championship in the next couple of months (depending on how those matches go) but Cody Rhodes is the one who could benefit the most from a run with that magical blue briefcase in hand. As a cocky heel, he could flaunt it and tease the cash-in many times before he find the right moment. He isn’t quite on par with Dolph these days, so he kind of needs it (or an actual feud with a top level guy) to get to the next level.

Participants: John Cena, Kane, Big Show, Chris Jericho

Doesn’t make sense: Kane
I can’t even come up with a compelling reason for Kane to win this match.

Boring: John Cena
As if he needs an excuse for a major title match. I know it’s been a while, but he pretty much just needs to ask, especially if the champion is a bad guy.

They’re gonna need a bigger ladder: Big Show
Not likely to win as construction of a ladder that would allow him to climb to the top is a mythical feat.

Champion by the night’s end: Chris Jericho
Yeah, you heard me.

Ryback squash match
There’s gotta be one, right? Look for the return of Stan Stansky as he goes one on one with the muscular one. It doesn’t last long. In all seriousness, let’s replace Stan Stansky with two of the local FSW (Future Stars of Wrestling) talent and you get the same result.

WHC Title Match
ADR vs Sheamus. Yawn. I’ll have to give it to ADR as he’s been semi-interesting as of late as the angry uber-physical heel. Sheamus has been pretty uninteresting as of late. Nothing against the big Irish fella, but creative has nothing for him these days…

That said, Cody Rhodes makes no appearance as heel on heel crime is something only few want to see.

WWE Title Match
I am so ridiculously excited for this match. The chemistry between these two guys in the ring, and with AJ added – on the mic as well – has been an absolute treat for us all over the past weeks (months). After last Monday’s marriage proposals, I don’t have any clue how the match will go or how the end will take place. I do like Jared’s Miss Elizabeth / Savage to AJ / Bryan comparison, and that would be a cool way to end this feud. They would be quite the power couple for months to come in the WWE. Hey, the modern fan has a short attention span – make that weeks. Good stuff regardless.

No matter how it happens, if there’s a Bryan win, look for a Jericho MITB cash-in. Code Breaker. 1-2-3. New feud with born again face Jericho standing triumphant over Bryan and a distraught AJ. And… Scene!

Joshua Schlag

For most of the last 30+ years of my life, I've been watching WWE. As a kid, Monday Night Raw hooked me from the start. From Bret Hart and Razor Ramon, to Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock, to CM Punk and Daniel Bryan.. I've witnessed the ups and downs and I'm proud to have enjoyed pro wrestling through the years.

Though I now watch in a much different fashion than I did when I was a kid (finding out Vince McMahon was the owner and Jack Tunney no more than a figurehead was like finding out Santa Claus did not exist), I feel like I have a much greater appreciation for the hard work pro wrestlers do and the things they sacrifice to entertain us.

It's still real to me, dammit!