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The Undertaker is Over. Not in the Way You’re Thinking, Though.

Spoiler alert: This is NOT what The Undertaker looks like in 2017.

Spoiler alert: This is NOT what The Undertaker looks like in 2017.

When you say someone is “over” in pro wrestling, that’s usually a good thing. “He’s so over with the fans” means that he’s getting a big reaction and they’re clamoring to see more.

Let’s be clear – that’s not what I mean when I say that The Undertaker is over. I’m saying he’s over like shell art is over.

In 2010, I sat ringside at WrestleMania XXVI with my brother. It was a dream come true – our first Mania – and we were watching two of the greatest ever battle as HBK faced The Undertaker for the second year in a row. One career came to an end that night as the door closed on Shawn Michaels. Another career came ever closer to its finish, as well – but little did we know that 7 years later, The Undertaker would still be doing his thing. Should he still be doing it, though?

Don’t get me wrong, The Undertaker has put on some solid matches in the time since The Heartbreak Kid called it quits. From battles with Triple H, CM Punk, and even some of what he did with Brock Lesnar – Taker has still created memorable moments for us as fans. But for me, the moment when I began to lose hope occurred in New Orleans at WrestleMania XXX.

Again attending with my brother, I remember looking at each other and realizing about 10 minutes into Taker’s match that we were both thinking of making a run to the restroom. Yes, folks – The Undertaker vs Brock Lesnar became a ‘piss break’ match for us. We came back, didn’t miss a thing, and The Streak came to an end before our eyes. We figured it may happen one day, but in such a lackluster fashion as that? Yikes.

To be fair, it’s been said that Taker suffered a concussion early in that match, and powered through it all – carried by Brock Lesnar, who was arguably not ready to take on that role, but had no choice that fateful day. But still, a boring match and the end of the biggest thing The Undertaker had going for him? It must be time for him to call it quits soon, right?

The Undertaker doesn't do New Year's resolutions.

The Undertaker doesn’t do New Year’s resolutions.

Three years later, multiple surgeries, and plenty of holiday meals later… he’s still at it. But why?

Yes, it’s an amazing thing to witness The Undertaker’s entrance. The lights going out. The music. The lightning and pyrotechnics. The aura of The Dead Man. But then he gets in the ring, and we reminisce in the wonderful things he did in the past. And we get just a taste of it.

When he showed up at the 2017 Royal Rumble, it was exciting to see him just ‘appear’ in the ring across from Goldberg. But then he started to move, and you quickly remembered that this is The Old Man, not The Dead Man. He seemed lost at times – forgetting who he was supposed to move onto in his sequence of eliminations. His offense looked lazy and uninspired. He appeared out of shape, and I almost wondered if it would have been better if he wore a loose t-shirt over his singlet. I expect certain old wrestlers to be out of shape as they age – hell, they’ve earned it if they want to let themselves go – but Taker carries a certain mythos that makes us not want to think of him as just a regular old man.

I hate to speak ill of the legends, but I’m over The Undertaker. I think his career is in danger of becoming tarnished if he keeps trying to drag things out. Maybe it’s not all his choice. Maybe he’s leaving the door open to Vince to call upon him – in which case, I’d hope Mr. McMahon sees what I’ve been seeing and stops making that phone call.

I don’t want to remember The Undertaker for looking terrible and being the ‘piss break’ match. (There’s a danger of that happening again this year, as he’s rumored to be booked against Roman Reigns… No thanks times two!) I don’t want to see Taker do what so many other legends did in the twilight of their career at WCW and even TNA. I want to remember him finishing off Shawn Michaels, going to war with Triple H, and being the big scary bad ass he always was.

We used to chant ‘please retire’ at Big Show, but that was more in jest towards his poor booking. I could never chant that to Taker’s face (he’ll always be scary even if he’s started to look a bit like Frasier), but I’ll sit behind my keyboard and make the plea. Don’t kill your legacy, Dead Man.



Podcast Episode 117.5: WrestleMania XXX Results

Adam was once a happy wrestling fan..

Adam was once a happy wrestling fan..

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Daniel Bryan! WWE World Heavyweight Champion! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Cesaro had a hell of a night too. Overall, a really great time was had at the Silverdome. Superdome, I mean. Sure, there was one pretty appalling match, but yeah…

Featuring: Joshua Schlag (@thesteelcage / @schlizzag), ‘A Bomb’ Adam Hess (@ahess49), ‘The Beast from the Middle East’ Darrell Johnson (@zazzumplop), Sprung (@jasprung), Taylor (@tnbarnes), and Hashtag Billi (@DirteeJesus)

Music by The Black Furies, courtesy of Music Alley.

SUBSCRIBE in iTunes: [Click here].

Add us to your favorites on Stitcher: [Click here].

Listen via TuneIn Radio: [Click here].

WWE’s Official WrestleMania Results: [Click here].

Post image via Wrestling With Text: [Click here].



Podcast Episode 117: WrestleMania XXX Preview

The pointing is over. It's time for yes'ing.

The pointing is over. It’s time for yes’ing.

It was literally a go home show. Residents of Washington, DC: go home. Nah, in their defense, it was at least as good as a house show. Raw was pretty pedestrian overall, but so what? The card for WrestleMania has already been set, and we’re already pretty well sold. So why don’t we just talk bout that?

WrestleMania is shaping up to be perhaps one of the best ever, as it should with the landmark thirtieth incarnation of the big event. See you in New Orleans!

Hosted By: Joshua Schlag (@thesteelcage / @schlizzag)

Featuring: ‘A Bomb’ Adam Hess (@ahess49), ‘The Beast from the Middle East’ Darrell Johnson (@zazzumplop), ‘Super Jew’ Jared (@SuperJew75), Sprung (@jasprung), and Derek (@cap_kaveman)

Music by The Black Furies, courtesy of Music Alley.

This episode has been archived. We’ll be glad to provide it on demand – just send us an email and let us know which episode number you are looking for… OR for instant access to our full archives, become a Patreon supporter!

SUBSCRIBE in iTunes: [Click here].

Add us to your favorites on Stitcher: [Click here].

Listen via TuneIn Radio: [Click here].

WWE’s Official Raw Results: [Click here].

WWE’s Official WrestleMania Preview: [Click here].

Post image via Wrestling With Text: [Click here].



Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, and Kayfabe 2.0

Up against a machine too strong, puppets who'll find their place in line..

Up against a machine too strong, puppets who’ll find their place in line..

My name is Josh, and I am in an abusive relationship. I am a fan of pro wrestling.

On January 26, 2014, a revolution began. Fed up with WWE’s decisions as to who should be “the face of the company”, fans at the Royal Rumble in Pittsburgh had enough. During the WWE World Heavyweight Championship match, the crowd booed the participants and cheered for anything but the match in front of them. In the midst of “This is awful” and “Boring” chants, the constant theme kept coming back to Daniel Bryan. The second half of 2013 had become all about how Daniel Bryan was screwed out of his chances for the WWE Championship, and the diversion caused by Bray Wyatt seemed to be exactly that. We were supposed to forget about what happened to Daniel Bryan, and we were supposed to shift our focus to guys like John Cena and Randy Orton, and… Batista.

Batista made his triumphant(?) return the previous Monday during Raw. The initial reaction was of fanfare, but nowhere near the level of what Daniel Bryan gets on any regular old night. The Animal’s return was off to a rocky start, and it would only get worse at the Royal Rumble. When Rey Mysterio’s music hit as entrant #30 and Daniel Bryan was guaranteed to not make an appearance in the match, all hell broke loose. The perennial babyface king of lucha libre got booed harder than he’s probably ever been booed. Sheamus, who earlier returned to cheers, tried to get the crowd behind his Brogue Kick – instead met with “No! No! No!” chants. Down became up and up became down. When we were left with Batista and Roman Reigns in the ring, the crowd was nearly unanimous on the side of the big man from The Shield. Batista had a shocked look on his face as the crowd turned against him in his moment of celebration. Instead of triumphantly pointing at the WrestleMania sign, he looked frustrated as he did it while talking smack towards the unaccepting crowd. Seriously.. How did we get to this point?

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality

A Worked Shoot
This was not the first instance of a crowd revolting against WWE’s creative direction. WrestleMania XXIX was hardly awe inspiring in terms of interesting storylines, including the headlining John Cena vs The Rock match for the WWE Championship. If WWE wasn’t going to keep things interesting, the crowd on the following night’s Raw decided that they would. They hijacked various segments and even matches, diverting attention towards themselves when they just didn’t care what was happening in the ring. Sheamus and Randy Orton tried to overcome it, but the power of the crowd was just too strong. After that night, things just haven’t been the same.

In the waning months of 2013, each PPV seemed to be centered around making decisions that are “Best for Business” – which a large portion of the fanbase took to mean “Daniel Bryan can’t be champion because creative doesn’t believe in his ability to draw”. WWE even built this into their storylines, as Daniel Bryan was screwed out of title opportunities in many different ways and we got stuck with horrific bouts like Randy Orton vs The Big Show that had little to no buy in and turned into a travesty of in ring product. Meanwhile, Daniel Bryan played his role and did his best to steal the show consistently. Surely, they couldn’t forget about him? Surely, this is all coming to a head and he’s going to get his WrestleMania moment, right? There can’t be any other explanation for not cashing in on a wrestler who gets pops that are on the same level as Hulk Hogan and Stone Cold Steve Austin. The #YesMovement is real. …Right?

Don’t Trust Anyone
As we started down the collective Road to WrestleMania, various potential cards for that event began to leak online. Much of the talk was about a potential Batista vs Brock Lesnar main event for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Most people didn’t want to believe it. Daniel Bryan HAS to have his shot, right? He HAS to have his moment, where 70000+ fans would chant “YES!” in unison to celebrate him reaching the pinnacle, right? Wrong. We were all in denial as the Royal Rumble main event drew to a close, and we took to the internet to voice our opinions. Twitter was abuzz with talk about the missed opportunity of Daniel Bryan not being in the Royal Rumble match itself. BBC News picked up the story. Mick Foley, who usually has nothing but good things to say about WWE, smashed his daughter’s TV with a baseball bat because he was so disgusted with WWE’s creative direction. What an outrage! …Right?

At this point, there are more questions than answers. Has WWE carefully orchestrated the Daniel Bryan plot over the months since his initial taste of the title at SummerSlam 2013? Does that mean he will get into the WWE Heavyweight Championship match after all? Maybe it doesn’t matter how much was orchestrated versus a change in direction because of fan reaction, as long as we get there. Or is there a little too much truth to how 2013 played out for our bearded hero? Does WWE not believe in his ability to draw on the industry’s biggest stage this year in New Orleans, despite how he is received by the crowd every damn week? Will he get bumped down the card to face someone lame, like Sheamus? What is the deal???

It Doesn’t Matter!
You know what matters? We are talking about it, and we are spending a lot of time and effort talking about it. We’re talking about the fuzzy lines between reality and kayfabe. It’s really hard to tell what is what these days, and you know what? I’m okay with that. I’m more than okay with that! It’s like I’m 10 years old again – it’s still real to me, dammit!

A big part of me truly believes that Daniel Bryan will get his moment. That’s why I’m invested in what’s going on right now. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know what WrestleMania is ultimately going to look like, despite what I’ve been told and what sort of cards have been “leaked” online. My hopes and dreams remain alive… for the moment. I’ve been disappointed in WWE’s decisions in the past. Hopefully things work out this time.

Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters – nothing really matters to me

This morning, news broke about CM Punk’s growing unrest over WWE’s creative direction. He has reportedly told Vince he is taking time off and now is not a part of any booking plans as we head towards WrestleMania. How much of even that is true? Will Punk make his triumphant return to kick Triple H in the face, while Daniel Bryan takes on the main stage? Or is this legit, and will Punk just not be around… for a while?

The drama has shifted from a 100% on screen product to a mix of real life and scripted reality. Does it suck sometimes? Of course. Does it piss us off? Yeah. Good. That’s emotion. That’s investment in being a fan of pro wrestling. You can’t have triumph without tragedy, but maybe there’s just been way too much tragedy as of late to make up for it.

Hopefully this story ends on a happy note. Hopefully my abusive partner that is WWE makes amends and “makes things right”. Right now, I watch because I hope. Maybe I’m a sucker. …In the end, we are all marks. Or, at least I am.



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