Hello and welcome to the Steel Cage Standings where I, Psyniac, go through the past month of WWE TV and rank the Top 5 Raw and Top 5 Smackdown superstars, Top 3 NXT superstars and then highlight three stars or teams that have been wasted or have been straight-up terrible. December 2016 was a bit of a weird one for quality and whilst I’ve recently enjoyed Raw more than usual, the general opinion has seen the divide between the red and blue brands grow wider. 2016’s final Raw was a bit of a shitshow whereas the final Smackdown was basically an awesome miniature PPV. Anyway, let’s get into it.
RAW Top 5:
05. Owens & Jericho
The Universal Champion and his “bezzie mate” still hang onto a place in the Top 5 this month despite a few misplaced steps in their story. We had tension for the vast majority of December with Owens sorely trying to win his friend back for a second time and whilst they’ve had their moments (the shark cage thing was actually hysterical, even if it’s utterly stupid) we are beyond treading water at this point. Team Kevin and Chris/Chris and Kevin are now at the stage where breaking these two up for real has lost any shock value and when it happens we’ll be waiting for them to change their minds once again which is a shame. This time of year is always a bit of a clusterfuck whilst the Wrestlemania card falls into place but it’s sad to see these characters suffer because of it.
04. Neville
A surprising return this month and one of the only stand-out moments from Roadblock: End of the Line saw Neville come down to the ring to seemingly congratulate Swann on his victory before immediately taking him out and turning heel in the process. Bad, Beardy Neville immediately kept the fire burning with a killer promo the next night on Raw and ascending to the top of the Cruiserweight division immediately, where he obviously belongs. This no-nonsense, loner character is a strange fit for Neville but a fit it is and he’s pulling it off splendidly. It’s about time he got some of the spotlight on TV.
03. Bayley
Perhaps it’s just because it’s fresh but my God is it good to see Charlotte facing off against Bayley. The Banks feud, as I’ve said on numerous occasions, has been one of this year’s worst, ongoing (read: never-ending) things so to see Charlotte get to flex her muscles, literally and figuratively, against someone else has been fun. Moreover, Bayley has been able to come into her own better by interacting with more than just jobbers or being used as a jobber herself. She’ll be a fine competitor for Charlotte to blow past on her way to Wrestlemania and hopefully prominent screen-time will help her, too.
02. Braun Strowmann
Good lord, Braun is good. Two months he was a surprise entry, last month his booking allowed him to move up the list and here we are at the #2 spot. Following his excellent use at Survivor Series, Braun found his way back into his story with Sami with ease. The ten-minute time limit match at Roadblock: End of the Line was a weird one but it allowed Strowman to explode after the next few weeks, demand a rematch with Zayn. Whilst it has shades of Joe in NXT, Strowman interrupting matches and making a mockery of Raw has been a good use of him and he’s excelled in every segment they’ve given him, spoken or ring-work, over the last few months. Not bad for that green member of the Wyatt Family.
01. Cesaro & Sheamus
Following their best of seven series in September, I was cautiously optimistic that Cesaro & Sheamus could work as a team. The two are incredibly hardworking dudes and between them could have a few decent ideas. Well, those decent ideas flourished and the two found themselves getting over in their respective face and heel roles. Nowadays, Sheamus is basically a face that’s fun to boo because of how entertaining their “yay/nay” dynamic is. That’s why, as much as I love The Club, I’m not surprised that the WWE cashed in on them (see also: they’re “WWE guys” more than “NJPW guys”).
Booked very suddenly into a title match at Roadblock: End of the Line, Cesaro and Sheamus winning the titles was a very real possibility but it was still a shock that WWE ended New Day’s run so suddenly. Gifted new belts, this is an example of WWE striking when the iron was hot after the tag division had been so cold for so long.
SMACKDOWN Top 5:
05. Baron Corbin
I’ve always been for Baron Corbin rather than against; stupid wolf shirts, receding hairline and belly-face be damned. Whereas Raw is very rigid, Smackdown Live has a really good way of making it feel as though guys can float around the roster without too much question and one example of this has been Corbin stepping up to challenge for the WWE title on the Wildcard Finals episode at the end of 2016. Was he ever going to win it? Not bloody likely. But did he look like a beast and give you the idea that maybe, someday he might get there? Yup.
04. The Miz
The Miz has had one of his weaker months here in 2016 but even still he lands on his list. Out of all the stars in WWE in this insane twelve months, Miz is one guy you could say stole the show on a regular basis and his match with Ziggler at TLC did just that. Following that, he handily moved into a feud with former WWE Champion Ambrose (see above about guys not feeling out of place) and made the whole thing very interesting with one line aimed at Renee Young. Shocking yet logical promos and storylines like that are a great way to help us forget about that confusing Bryan rivalry (which may be over but who knows?) for one thing but also just to hook viewers. I guess The Miz is must-see after all.
03. Alexa Bliss & Becky Lynch
First of all, congratulations to Alexa Bliss on becoming Smackdown Women’s Champion. Whilst their tables match at TLC was a bit of a disappointment, it was the right decision. Moreover, the two have managed to keep their feud and subsequent rematch storyline pretty interesting with the inclusion of Becky’s apparent alter ego La Luchadora earning her another shot at the end of the year which concluded with a very interesting twist. Who exactly is under the mask is one thing but having somewhere for Becky to go now she doesn’t have the belt makes sense, gives Alexa a month to breeze through an opponent whilst Nikki is feuding with Natala etc. As a whole, the Smackdown’s women’s division is very strong and constantly interesting. Most importantly, Alexa sits at the top of it.
02. The Wyatt Family
We were all very skeptical, fair to say, about Orton joining the Wyatt Family but when they shockingly took the belts off of Slater and Rhyno I think we were all made believers. That moment, post-match, was enough to make the hairs on the back of your neck stand-up as Randy and Bray handed Luke their belts and posed before the lights went out. Even still they played with us by teasing a break-up which I sincerely hope isn’t coming despite taking the belts off of the three. Hopefully that’s just a way to crown somebody two time champions and also to help American Alpha not fall away into obscurity. Either way their match at the end of the year show was fun and if it means we get more of that I’m down for it.
01. AJ Styles
WWE really has an issue with it’s heels sometimes by overbooking the turd out of them. Every match either has to have an over-the-top cheat finish or they’re booked to lose clean every damn week. I was getting a little worried about Styles losing to Ellsworth so many times so to see him get his own back so viciously put my mind at ease. Furthermore, he successfully defended against two guys who going into the match didn’t look like they had a chance and yet AJ made them look like a million bucks.
With Cena returning, the course was clear and the two still produce one hell of an energy when they’re in the ring together. Considering the quality of the matches they put on earlier this year, colour me excited for their rematch at Royal Rumble. It’s possible Styles will surprise us by retaining yet again but if he doesn’t then there’s no qualms here with his run with the belt this year. 2016 was truly the year of AJ Styles.
THE BAD:
03. The New Day
“The bad” list this month may seem familiar to those of you who checked out last month’s list since it’s entirely the same. December is a good month for WWE to spin wheels and Raw has suffered the most with it. Hell, The New Day have practically defined the term over the last six months. Even so, losing the belts almost immediately after passing the record we were all waiting for them to break was a bit of a unceremonious way to do it. I suppose the bright side is that it’s over now. Move along, people.
02. Roman Reigns
Last month I was tearing my hair out over the fact that Roman was given the midcard title for Raw and proceeded to head straight back into the main event with it like it was an accessory to hang off his Big Cheater Vest. Roman is a fine wrestler but it seems like they keep making decisions with him specifically to piss off fans. Following Roadblock: End of the Line where he lost, Roman has another shot at the Universal Championship at Royal Rumble still whilst holding the United States Championship which is (at the time) not up for grabs. Utterly stupid, utterly infuriating, utterly indicative of Reigns’ booking.
01. Sasha Banks
We have a winner! Of the biggest loser award. For the third month in a Row Sasha Banks struggles to evolve from the utter garbage she’s become. After winning the Raw Women’s Championship for a third time this year (and third time crying about it, if I recall correctly), she went on to drop it back to Charlotte again in a poorly booked 2-out-of-3 Falls match at Roadblock: End of the Line. Instead of doing the right thing and taking her off television, she came to the ring on Raw to proclaim “I no longer feel like The Boss” (no shit) and then got attacked by Nia Jax, turning her even more into “sympathetic white meat babyface”. What a waste. Get off my TV and into the bin, Sasha.
THE NXT:
03. Asuka
I have to admit that during her reign I’ve gotten a little tired of Asuka and it’s not really her fault. With the women’s division all but cleared out before her debut, she was left with very little to do. That’s why this month’s bout against Nia Jax made me remember why we were all so excited to begin with. A much longer match that allowed Asuka to sell, making her opponent look super powerful; I almost thought for a moment that she might finally drop the belt. Two more months however, and WWE can clear Paige’s name off the record so you know that’s where this is going.
02. SaNiTY
This second half of this year has been a bit of an odd time for NXT with the show finally getting a lot of criticism for it’s shallow roster. Losing it’s lead writer to Smackdown hasn’t helped either. Gladly, this month saw some development in the newest faction SaNiTY. Whilst we’ve been spoilt with the cream of the former-TNA crop coming through WWE already, Eric Young is still a good get for NXT and his faction presents some intrigue with the whack-job Nikki Cross, the suddenly very missing Sawyer Fulton and the interruptions by Big Damo. It’s hard to know what exactly is happening but fingers crossed. And heads bopping to that totally screwed up Primus-esque theme music they have.
01. Bobby Roode
Just because it’s not surprising doesn’t mean it isn’t fun. Bobby Roode being crowned #1 contender for the NXT Championship is the right thing to do, especially as he’s one of the most over individuals in NXT if not WWE at large. Whether or not his opponent should be Nakamura or Joe is up for debate since chants of “GLORIOUS” may actually drown out support for the NXT Champion and King of Leaving Horrible Marks on Austin Aries’ face. Similarly, whether or not Roode will take the title or suffer his first loss makes for an interesting point of discussion and something to look forward to next month. Either way, the crowd reaction in San Antonio will be nuts and this you can all but guarantee.
You can find Psyniac on Twitter at Raw is Psyniac where he tweets about Raw and Smackdown 18 hours after they’ve aired, how much he loves Carmella and, occasionally, candy.
Photography credit (C) WWE.com
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The Steel Cage Standings – October 2016
Hello and welcome to the Steel Cage Standings where I, Psyniac, go through the past month of WWE TV and rank the Top 5 Raw and Top 5 Smackdown superstars, Top 3 NXT superstars and then highlight three stars or teams that have been wasted or have been straight-up terrible. October 2016 was our second round of brand-exclusive pay-per-views including the first shoe-horned-in gimmick show, Hell in a Cell. It also gave us the return of Goldberg out of the blue and the build towards Survivor Series. Let’s take a closer look.
RAW Top 5:
05. Braun Strowman
Bit of a weird one to start off with but honestly Braun’s single push has been executed almost perfectly for my tastes. With the brand extension we saw the return of local indie schmuck jobbers and it was the perfect path to put The Abominable Strowman on. After clearing out a few, then “doing a Ryback” by beating multiple opponents at once with ease, Braun found himself in a program with a guy that also needed something to do before he got boring. He and Sami Zayn seem like a good fit although personally I would have had Zayn one-up him in the Battle Royal for a spot on the Survivor Series team to incite Braun’s rage. Still, it’s got some intrigue to it and Braun has even surprised me with his mic work. It’s been simple but effective.
04. Rich Swann
It’s always a relief when a guy you personally love gets over organically. The Cruiserweight Division on Raw has been pretty pointless since day one but if we get nothing but a Rich Swann push out of it then that’s enough for me. Swann has appeared every week since the division began (plus he’s still competing on NXT) and his music, entrance and in-ring style has given him responses that have snowballed every time. It seems pretty obvious that Kendrick taking the belt off the floundering Perkins (we’ll get to that) lines Rich up to be next in line, especially since he beat The Wizard of Odd on Raw recently. Can you handle this, can you handle this?
03. Charlotte
Speaking of chicken salad amongst chicken shit, the women’s division on Raw has had it’s fair share of problems since it’s inception. Admittedly, part of this is due to injury and… whatever Paige is doing. But the rest is due to non-characters with lame motives building towards important matches for all the wrong reasons. The women’s Hell in a Cell match was pretty average and the flip-flopping off the Raw Women’s Championship is an eye-roll but all in fairness I’d take Charlotte as champion over anyone else these days. For the month of October, she was the only woman on the roster who seemed to understand her character and could cut a half-decent promo. Also, her attacking Sasha before the hell had fully descended made me pop.
02. Goldberg
Goooooldbeeeeeerg… For the third year in a row a star from the past has returned to the WWE via their involvement with the 2k video game. However, this is the first and hopefully last time a match has been built around the damn thing. Goldberg will be facing off against Lesnar because “reasons” at Survivor Series but before we get there we’ve thus far been treated to two appearances by WCW’s main guy on Raw which have been pretty good. His entrance remains intact, he looks decent and, most amazing of all, he managed to succeed on the microphone. Also, his “I’m Goldberg, BOY” on the Halloween Raw in the face of Rusev was lol-worthy. It’s all a very interesting discussion about whether he should or will beat Brock next month but that’s talk for the November edition. For now, he’s had one of the biggest crowd responses of the year.
01. Kevin Owens & Chris Jericho
It’s hard to talk about one without the other right now because they compliment each other so well. Their back and forth is incredible; Y2J’s entertaining side helps Owens keep his heat and KO’s frustrations turn his best friend steadily more face. Jericho definitely stole the spotlight during the build but Owens and Rollins had match of the night at Hell in a Cell. Hopefully their bad guy antics will help to make a more clear-cut babyface of Seth Rollins who, in all likelihood, joins them in the Survivor Series team that Owens and Jericho are co-captaining.
Slow and steady seems to win the race. Owens is still rolling his eyes at Jericho’s ridiculousness as the Ayatollah of Rock-and-rollah gets more and more over each week with his list of simple but effective catchphrases and props. It’s definitely just a matter of time until the bubble bursts but for now JeriKO stand united as the most entertaining thing on the RAW brand.
SMACKDOWN Top 5:
05. James Ellsworth
Wrestling is totally stupid. You all know this really. But it’s this kind of stupid that we love. Ellsworth previously appeared as a member of Adam Rose’s rosebuds and returned to Raw this year to job to Braun Strowman. Something happened though and he’s somehow found himself as part of the Smackdown main event scene throughout all of the month of October. I’m not sure he’s signed officially but he might as well be. Not only have his two victories against AJ been hilarious without being damaging to Styles’ character, Ellsworth has made Ambrose more interesting and kept him out of matches with the champion who he’s sure to continue to feud with. What a bizarre thing.
04. Nikki & Carmella
It’s kind of funny because looking at those two names… isn’t one just a stupid reality star bimbo and isn’t the other the lady doomed to fail since she got split up from Enzo and Cass? And yet the two have been putting on one of the most personal feuds in the WWE right now and doing it with fantastic in-ring and on-mic work. Nikki has improved a lot in the last year or so and Carmella has definitely made the most of the time and attention given to her. Good on Smackdown for giving her a chance and good on her for grabbing the so-called brass rings.
03. Dolph Ziggler
I’m not as sour as some people on Miz dropping the Intercontinental Championship to Ziggler, I’m hoping they can make it work. So far so good; Ziggler captured the belt in a title VS career match at No Mercy that had many questioning if Dolph was done in WWE. Following this, Miz bringing in two former Spirit Squad members to reign hell on Ziggler was perfect with the new champion fighting them off as best as he could before a brawl ensued. WWE embracing Dolph’s past has been interesting to see and it’s the kind of reference that long-term fans enjoy. Also, it means this feud at least has something new to keep it moving along a little longer.
02. AJ Styles
Last month I mentioned just how good it was that Styles had the world championship because of the number of fresh title feuds that meant for. To begin with, he beat Cena and Ambrose in a triple threat which is pretty cool and then… went on to have a legitimate storyline with a jobber? Well, can’t say I saw that coming. All our lofty ideas on who he could face, it says a lot about Smackdown’s writing staff and Styles’ talent that he’s made facing off with Ellsworth and continuing to feud with Ambrose actually geniunely interesting. Most importantly, AJ gets his character in a way that comes across so confidently on screen. His emotions and motive are so easy to understand because he’s such a rounded character. Also, he basically saved Ellsworth’s life after a near-botched Styles Clash. So we should probably thank him for that.
01. Alexa Bliss
I mentioned how surprising it was that Nikki and Carmella are doing so well but they’ve got nothing on the current contender to the Smackdown Women’s Championship. When Alexa Bliss was drafted, it’s fair to say we were all a little surprised; not because she was green but more because perhaps she hadn’t reached her full potential in NXT. Well, she’s already jockeying for the belt on Smackdown and someone must’ve seen something in her for her to be doing it so soon. Whoever tat person was, they’re right.
It’s no secret that Smackdown is a much more enjoyable show; concise with better understanding of their roster and very clearly pre-planned storylines so Alexa Bliss should be thrilled about being one of the most exciting things about it. She plays her role so well, has mainstream appeal, spits a mean promo and has got it going on in the ring too. It may be too early to give her the belt but she’s basically ready for it. If and when that day comes, Smackdown is in for a treat. Hell, it could be next month.
THE BAD:
03. The Club
Remember how excited we all were for Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows joining the WWE as The Club? No? Good, it’s best you don’t. With The New Day’s grasp on the Raw Tag Team Championship until December at earliest, The Club have been treading water being beaten, mocked and delivering terrible comedy segments. This month they started a second feud with Enzo & Cass and got a solid win at Hell in a Cell. Then the next night Gallows got beaten in a dumb gimmick match whilst having a pumpkin on his head. Great.
02. TJ Perkins
Music cannot save you from a terrible, terrible character. TJ Perkins was nobody’s favourite guy in the Cruiserweight Classic but he was fine enough to put the belt on. Now, retroactively, I can almost let the boos as he was crowned slide. His backstage segments on Raw have been awful as he shoe-horns in random gaming terminology, falling for Kendrick’s fake injury at Hell in a Cell made him look like a chump and on the following night’s Raw he almost killed himself due to a botch over the top-rope. It’s all gone horribly wrong and taking the belt off TJP was the right choice.
01. Sasha Banks
Oh dear, how the mighty have fallen. Sasha has never really reached the heights we saw of her in NXT but since she returned from her first injury this year things have been questionable at best. Her character has been gutted; they refer to her as the “boss” but all I see is Bayley. Her entire lead into the Hell in a Cell was about making history, “being born to do this” and something about Eddie? Plus, her ring work has gotten sloppier and sloppier… hence injuries. Putting the belt on her before the event was totally confusing and I would guess Charlotte was not going to win the match originally but things have taken a turn for the worse with Sasha and she needs to be kept away from the main event, at least for now.
THE NXT:
03. Tye Dillinger & Bobby Roode
It was only a matter of time before Tye turned face really and NXT have embraced it well by originally pairing him with Bobby Roode and exciting the fans with the prospect of the “Glorious 10” taking the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic by storm. Then Bobby turned his back on Tye immediately in the face of Sanity, giving the Glorious One some heat (as much as NXT can offer such an astounding character) and the Perfect Ten a little sympathy. In all likelihood, Toronto will side with Bobby over Tye but the two should put on an excellent match that’ll help propel them into their next stories. And Bobby’s will surely be the NXT title…?
02. The Women’s Division
NXT’s dry period post-brand extension is definitely coming to an end. The Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic is helping to bulk out that part of the show but also of note is the speed at which NXT is building up it’s next handful of female stars. Liv Morgan failed to topple Asuka, which is fine, and is being built up by her feud with Peyton and Billie. Nikki is so far the stand-out member of Sanity. Ember Moon is finding her footing slowly. We also have Mickie James returning to give Asuka something to do until a new star is ready. It all makes sense and it’s all come together pretty quickly.
01. Samoa Joe
Samoa Joe holds his top spot for the most interesting guy in NXT this month by continuing his role of being the pissed off asshole that makes the life of those in power hell in pursuit of his NXT Championship. After taking Nakamura off TV, Joe spent a few weeks causing havoc by interrupting matches and unblinkingly facing off against Regal. Dan Matha, a guy that NXT fooled us into thinking they were legitimately building, made his debut and was totally destroyed by Joe in his warpath seeking his championship rematch and it was amazing. Now Shinsuke is back things are coming to a boiling point with the champion looking for revenge and playing into Joe’s hand. As always, NXT’s title picture is emotional, engaging and looks to make for one hell of a match.
You can find Psyniac on Twitter at Raw is Psyniac where he tweets about Raw and Smackdown 18 hours after they’ve aired, how much he loves Carmella and, occasionally, candy.