The Biggest Fight of the Summer
The Biggest Fight of the Summer

Recently, our very own Prince of the Peanut Butter Palace – AKA Captain Kaveman, AKA Derek Montilla (@Cap_Kaveman) – started writing for FanSided, covering everything from Major League Baseball to the National Football League to… you guessed it: professional wrestling. Following are his Summerslam 2014 predictions, as originally seen at When you’re done checking that out, make sure to take a look at Derek’s other work: And of course, watch Summerslam via the WWE Network, available for just $9.99!

The WWE SummerSlam Pay Per View rolls into the Staples Center in L.A. this Sunday, and the biggest party of the summer has shaped up nicely with a pretty fantastic card that features little filler. And it is all available on the WWE Network for the low, low price of $9.99 a month!! They did a great job with building the rivalries showcased at this year’s summer PPV, which should translate over to an entertaining night.

The lineup for 2014′s SummerSlam is so good that it’s hard to even determine what the card order will be or how the night will play out. The huge clash between WWE World Heavyweight champion John Cena and challenger/monster Brock Lesnar will no doubt be the night’s main event. With the right mixture of pre taped interview packages and Paul Heyman’s genius, this program has a big fight feel that many PPV main events lack. This one will be a fight, it will be brutal, and there will be blood.

Seven other matches fill out the well rounded card, including Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho, Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon, AJ Lee (c) vs. Paige, Jack Swagger vs. Rusev in a Flag Match, The Miz (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler, Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton, and the match that could steal the show, Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose in a Lumberjack Match.

Here I take a swing at prognosticating the Sports Entertainment future as I give you my picks and predictions for SummerSlam 2014:

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev in a Flag Match

In a surprising bit of successful booking, the WWE has made me care about a Flag Match. Maybe it’s the fact that I still love to rise to my feet in my living room, put my hand proudly over my heart, and say with Zeb Coulter “WE THE PEOPLE!” Maybe it’s Lana’s amazing legs. Regardless, they’ve done a good job of making Jack Swagger look strong as of late, giving him a big win over Cesaro with a submission victory. They’ve put him in a position to be a serious contender for the seemingly unstoppable Rusev.

The problem I have is that Jack Swagger doesn’t really deserve the push he’s been receiving based on his recent track record, which many people would agree with. This is one of WWE’s biggest PPVs of the year, so the attention to this match and the balance they are trying to give it makes sense. But considering the push that Rusev has and will continue to receive, I doubt that his first major loss would be against Swagger. This one should have more of a decisive finish than the count out victory that Rusev scored at Battleground.

Rusev crushes. Lana is happy. Vnimanie!

The Miz (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph Ziggler has been super over with the WWE Universe as of late, and The Miz has created a whole new way to be a douchebag (editor’s note: industry term) ). This particular matchup has been almost more fun to watch on Twitter than it has been in the ring, but this should still be a great match. Ziggler has become the worm on the proverbial hook for fans, as WWE loves to dangle the prospect of Dolph getting to the mountain top in countless championship scenarios only for “The Showoff” to fall just short.

Miz retains and exudes terribleness.

AJ Lee (c) vs. Paige

This one has been weird for me because despite the fact that these are two of the most talented Divas – or wrestlers – with the company, it seems to have lost its sizzle. Maybe it was just too soon to move her from the super babyface role she established the night after WrestleMania into a heel role, but I’m just not buying Paige as a heel. Or more importantly, I don’t care. The skipping and the love poems have been ineffective at generating interest.

It should still be a great match with plenty of offense by two of the best. It’s a toss up for me, but I feel like AJ has some fight and time left as the Divas champ considering the upper hand Paige has been getting on RAW as of late.

AJ Lee retains both her title and her craziness.

Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho

This matchup features yet another ongoing rivalry that has carried over from Battleground. Despite the reception he continues to receive and the impact he makes with his promos, Bray has been weakened by the number of losses he has received this year. The feud with Cena was well done, but he ended up coming out on the losing side of things even with the constant interference of family member Eric and Luke.

This current program with Jericho should be bigger than it has come off, but the verbal sparring between the two on Monday’s RAW sold me on how good this could be. It may be too little too late for some, but I’m hooked now. The matchup comes down to Wyatt needing to do this on on his own and show that he can be the monster he has claimed to be. After losing the match to Jericho at Battleground, I was confused about where they were going with this. But now I can see that a brutal victory over a superior competitor such as Jericho without the help of the Wyatt Family will bring Bray back into the light as being a top contender.

Bray should win this one. The buzzards shall rejoice.

Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Zzzzzzzzzzzz. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Superman punch. Spear.

I kid, but this does have the potential to be the most boring matchup of the night. Orton has grown terribly stale despite his new role with The Authority. I almost smell a face turn coming for Randy with the small teases we have been given. A loss to Reigns could be that straw that breaks the back of his relationship with Triple H, which could be the more intriguing story here.

Reigns continues to be pushed as the unstoppable force, but he is also in danger of becoming stale with his current moveset growing a close resemblance to someone who claims that you can’t see him. There will be a lot of moves used in this one that we see all the time.

Roman Reigns wins, and his hair will look beautiful the whole time.

Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose – Lumberjack Match

Millions – and millions – of the WWE’s fans have probably asked themselves “Why a Lumberjack Match, Dean?” Why, when you have the biggest opportunity of a WWE superstar’s career sitting in a briefcase that now stinks like coffee, would you pick a Lumberjack Match over a MITB Contract match?

Well, because the storyline doesn’t call for that, silly.

In this matchup, Dean Ambrose has come out on fire. He is potentially one of the top faces in the company, and an opportunity to not give him a huge win over his ex-partner Seth Rollins would be foolish. I would never have picked Dean to be the member of The Shield split to become the biggest face and star, but it has happened. In order to keep long-term plans in place, Seth has to keep the case. But for this war, I feel like we will see Dean come out on top simply because of the match type.

Dean Wins, retaining his title as “Titty Master”.

Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon

The rivalry between these two women was built up nicely prior to Monday’s RAW. But this program veered drastically off course with the inclusion of a “cheating” angle between Bryan and his physical therapist. Not only does it feel like it has been done before, but it has been done before.

The arrest of Stephanie was well done. The arrest of Brie just seemed lazy. Plus, the inclusion of this affair so late in the game seems forced and unnatural.

I’m still excited to see how this plays out, but I have a feeling “Future Me” will hate “Current Me” for saying that when this match is over. I see hijinks ensuing with Brie having such an advantage over Steph in the ring.

Look for the Billion Dollar Princess to escape this one by some sort of devious means.

John Cena (c) vs. Brock Lesnar

This main event will indeed be a rarity as it will most likely be the match of the night. And considering it involves Cena, just saying that seems wrong. I bag on Cena, but the reason the majority of the audience over the age of twelve feels the way I do is because of how tired we are of his schtick. Not only is Cena terribly stale and in need of something new, but he never leaves – even when injured – for a long enough period of time to even miss him. He’s always around…always doing the same thing. Basically, he’s Wooderson from Dazed and Confused.

Brock Lesnar is the first REAL competition Cena has had that is believable as someone who can dethrone the leader of the Cenation. Lesnar has done an amazing job since being back, especially at speaking when needed while letting Heyman speak for him the rest of the time. The duo have been a perfect combination, and Monday’s RAW was a perfect example of that between Heyman’s rap at the top of the show and Brock’s intimidation of Hogan’s Heroes at the end.

Lesnar brings an authenticity to being a badass that the WWE has longed for since Austin left. His censored promos are the icing on the cake to his quiet, devilish grin while Heyman spews propaganda. His win over the Undertaker at Wrestlemania just proves that the WWE is committed to him for the short-term future.

Crowning Brock as champion is the shot in the arm the WWE World Heavyweight title needs, and the fact that his defenses of that title would occur less frequently would only increase the prestige and intrigue around championship matches. All angles and signs point to Lesnar winning. Except for the fact that he’s facing Cena. But even Superman has to lose sometimes, and I think Heyman might just have a pocketful of Kryptonite.

My prediction is Lesnar wins and becomes your NEW WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Cena’s time is up. Brock’s time is now.

Joshua Schlag

For most of the last 30+ years of my life, I've been watching WWE. As a kid, Monday Night Raw hooked me from the start. From Bret Hart and Razor Ramon, to Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock, to CM Punk and Daniel Bryan.. I've witnessed the ups and downs and I'm proud to have enjoyed pro wrestling through the years.

Though I now watch in a much different fashion than I did when I was a kid (finding out Vince McMahon was the owner and Jack Tunney no more than a figurehead was like finding out Santa Claus did not exist), I feel like I have a much greater appreciation for the hard work pro wrestlers do and the things they sacrifice to entertain us.

It's still real to me, dammit!